Friday, 4 October 2013

The drugs don't work

Sooooooo......... It's 3:46am as I start writing this. Yes, you have it, insomnia has struck again. But what is more frustrating today is that I have actually taken a strong sleeping tablet that is prescribed to get me through nights like this. It takes effect within 30 minutes and you don't wake up until morning.

I took that tablet over 2 hours ago..........

Sigh. Maybe I am over stimulated. I have alot going on in my head at the moment and alot of things have been happening. It's only been 6 weeks since I was in hospital myself and then I had to face my brother nearly dying just 3 weeks ago.

Now I am trying to get back to some sense of normality, though I am confused as to what normality is. Is it a perfect little house with a white picket fence, a happily married couple and two perfectly robotic children OR is it a house that is definitely full of love and support but is also probe to stress and upset?

I've realised as an adult that life is not a fairytale. Some people have hidden agendas and think only of themselves. Bodies fall apart on you and all your dreams of being an active mum have to be changed to the cool mummy who does art at the table with you and gives the best cuddles whilst watching Disney movies.

Couples also argue - in fact some arguments make relationships stronger as they clear the air and resolve issues - not forgetting the great makeup sex :D

So this is alot of the thoughts floating around my head at the moment as well as thinking about what I am going to do with an energetic 3 year old tomorrow and do I need my legs shaved.

Pretty random isn't it. Oh, if only the drugs had worked I would be asleep right now and you wouldn't have to sit there scratching your head trying to figure out what the hell this blog post is about.

Don't worry - tomorrow I will take all normality, well my version at least.